If you have kids, especially white kids that are at least ten years old, stop what you’re doing and watch “The Hate U Give.” Now, like right now!
I have had the movie on our Amazon Video watchlist for weeks. The image and the title are certainly eye-catching, but given the omnipresent race issues that have been dominating my feeds and daily news consumption, I knew that I had to be in the right frame of mind. The same way that you don’t just start watching “Schindler’s List” in the middle of a bright, sunny Saturday afternoon.
The opening scene instantly places you around the kitchen table of a black family. The room is full of mixed emotions from fear and frustration to anxiety and anticipation. They are having the talk. And I don’t mean the one about “where do babies come from”, either. This is the talk that black parents must sadly have with their kids. It is as much of a lifesaving conversation as, “don’t ever talk to strangers” or “guns are not toys.” This is about how to properly behave when pulled over by the police.
Black families in the United States of America in 2020 are still being forced to have this same conversation. How to place both hands on the dashboard. How to speak to the officer. It is a speech that screams, “you must not be seen as a threat more than the color of your skin has already made you out to be.”
Without giving away the entire story. The main character and narrator is a black teenage girl, the only witness (other than the dashboard camera from the police cruiser) to her friend, a young black man, that is shot and killed by a white cop. Sounds familiar, doesn’t it?
There is the grand jury process. There is cell phone footage of peaceful protesters, meeting police officers that are wearing riot gear that would only be appropriate on the battlefield and not city streets. There is looting. There is reality in every single frame of this movie. Not only is it the definition of timely, but it struck a cord to two different recent conversations.
I asked a very dear friend this week if she’d had the talk with her oldest son. Her situation is very unique as she is white and her son is black. She said they had definitely spoken about the recent headlines and had even gone on a run for Ahmaud Arbrey. They live a very white life. It’s not far from where she and I actually grew up. She mentioned that it’s a thin line between trying to educate him without exposing him to a world he’s not yet seen, let alone witnessed.
The second conversation was one that I watched vs experienced. It was “An Uncomfortable Conversation with a Black Man,” the web series from a figure I hope continues to become a fixture on race in America, Emmanuel Acho. His guests for the third episode were Chip and Joanna Gaines. If you’re unfamiliar with the couple, step out from under the rock you call home and Google “Fixer Upper.”
Chip explained that he loved the concept and that it was important for his kids to be a part of it, too. His most poignant question was about the importance of being color blind when it comes to race. I am almost positive that my dear friend is raising her son and three other kids to be color blind. To be honest, before listening to Acho’s response or watching “The Hate U Give,” I would have agreed with the lessons of color blindness.
But I would be wrong and misinformed AF!
As Acho explains, I think it’s important to teach kids to see color because there’s a beauty in color, there’s a beauty in culture.” The same sentiment is expressed in the movie when the main character’s white boyfriend tells her that he doesn’t see color. She immediately returns with one of the so many important lines throughout the film, “If you don’t see my blackness, you don’t see me!”
It’s funny how the happenings of our daily lives seem to come together as perfect puzzle pieces right before our eyes. I needed to be ready to watch “The Hate U Give” but I don’t know if that’s okay. The state of our union’s racial divides are bursting at the seams. I don’t think we have time to wait until we are ready. The uncomfortable conversations must happen immediately. The see no evil, hear no evil, status-quo stops here and now.
The first step towards real fundamental change is on you. What will you do to have the necessary uncomfortable conversations? You can start by watching this movie immediately.